


He's Miss American Pie

by compo67



Series: Chicago Verse [89]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bottom Sam, Dean Sings, Dialogue Heavy, Drabble, Established Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Established Relationship, M/M, Old Married Couple, Post-Series, Power Bottom Sam, Slice of Life, Song Lyrics, obnoxious Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-04-10 18:07:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4401992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/compo67/pseuds/compo67
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The couch broke. They go to a furniture store to pick out a new one. It's never that simple.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He's Miss American Pie

**Author's Note:**

> "American Pie" by Don McLean, folks.

“You know what song I hate?”

“I don’t want to know, Dean.”

“Bye, bye Miss American Pie.”

“Stop.”

“Drove the Chevy to the levee and the levee was dry.”

“I didn’t even _ask_.”

“I said, this’ll be the day that I dieeeeee.”

“I hate that song. I hate your face.”

“Leave my face out of this.”

“No. It’s annoying. Just like that song.”

“My face is precious”

“I’ll tell you what else your face is if you don’t get away from me.”

“My. Face. Is. Fucking. Adorable.”

“Can we go anywhere without you being obnoxious?”

“Nope.”

“May I remind you that we are trying to pick out a new couch?”

“May I remind you that you’re the one who broke our old one?”

“Dean. I did not break the couch.”

“Yeah you did.”

“I did not.”

“Mmdidso.”

“Okay, do you remember how the alleged breaking of the couch happened?”

“Well…”

“Oh that’s _right_. I was riding your cock until your eyes rolled back and I gave you one of the best orgasms you’ve ever had in your entire life. You were almost speaking in tongues—that’s how good it was. Don’t test me or I swear to our new couch Dean, respect the power bottom in this relationship.”

“Power bottom?”

“Hmph. I didn’t break our old couch.”

“I… uh… okay,” the furniture salesman sputters. “Um, well… huh.”

“Power bottom. What does that even mean? Is your ass radioactive? Does my cock get special powers?”

“Dean, not another word. Now, can we see something that doesn’t recline? I don’t care what _he_ said, I hate recliners. And I hate that song—I can hear you humming it, Dean!”

“You said not another word, Sasquatch! Humming doesn’t count for shit.”

“This is because I wouldn’t let you eat that donut hamburger, isn’t it? This is the thanks that I get for looking out for your health? Why would you eat something that you have to sign a legal document before consuming it?!”

“This’ll be the day that I die!”

“Yes—yes it will.”

“But I’m Miss American Pie!”

“Where are you going?!”

“To the Chevy!”

“…”

“And then the levee!”

“Ugh!”

“But it’s probably dry!”

“I’m picking out the couch myself.”

“…I was a lonely teenaged broncin’ buck with a pink carnation and a pickup truck! But I knew I was out of luuuuuck—the day the muuuuusic died!”

“…”

“Started singin’…”

“…”

“…Bye, bye Miss American Pie! That’s it, cashier lady, rock out! Clap with me, here we go! Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry. And them good ole boys were drinking whiskey and rye, singin’, ‘This’ll be the day that I die! This’ll be the day that I die!’”

“…”

“So come on Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack Flash sat on a candlestick. ‘Cause fire is the devil’s only friend. Oh, and as I watched him on the stage, my hands were clenched in fists of rage. No angel born in Hell could break that Satan’s spell. And as the flames climbed high into the night to light the sacrificial rite—I saw Satan laughing with delight. The daaaay the muuuusic died. I’m skipping forward, Sammy. Ahem. And the three men I admire most—the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, they caught the last train for the coast. The day… the music died…”

“…”

“That’s okay sweetheart, you can sing along. Come on, reel it in. Like you mean it now. Bye, bye, Miss American Pie! Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry! That’s it! With feeling! And them good ole boys were drinking whiskey and rye, singin’, ‘This’ll be the day that I die! Oh, this’ll be the day that I die…’”

Dean shakes the cashier’s hand, grinning like a damn fool.

He looks back at Sam and the salesman.

“I’ll be in the car! Thank you and goodnight!”

Sam charges two couches and an ottoman to Dean’s credit card.

**Author's Note:**

> I have to admit, I hate this song. It came on while I was writing away in a cafe and I was so irritated, I just had to write something about it. Of course, these two knuckleheads chimed in. 
> 
> There's a long story about why I don't like the song, but you're better off just reading this drabble. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
